Writings

Maybe It’s something I don’t know how to speak Because I’m not sure what it is that I seek As of right now, my impending future Is feeling just a little bit bleak Is self-infliction the solution? A suicidal delusion Or is this pain situational Am I just overly emotional? I don’t know where to go, I’m not sure Cause over a decade ago I’m still here Replaying the same old episode I’m placing the things I care Right out the window What’s holding me back? Is it bravery I lack? I’m drowning in obscurity Maybe it’s all insecurity So where do I go from here? That’s better than yesteryear Somewhere else, I want to be somewhere I think to myself that maybe I won’t be erased Or am I too lazy? Over a decade ago I sat at a white screen A flashing cursor waiting on me Gathering the words That’ll help me be seen Fast forward, future I’m still that same old creature Facing an empty screen My reflection is relieving the memories What’s holding me back?

Do you remember? The clouds at night With the glimpse of space All the stars above the woods Do you remember? The times that you could Look out upon nature With your arms stretched out And your hands in a grip To climb upon a majestic tree Reaching up with every grasp Holding onto every branch So you can touch the stars Do you remember? The noises and voices That we made when we gathered Our laughter our joy Spreading through the forest Like leaves on a harsh wind Out from our quiet town Listen to that echo from autumn That sound, the noise, a rhythm From the whispering woods Where we met at campfires In the midst of the autumn night That had flames dancing in a daze Wind spinning and twirls Leaves floating on its swirls Our dreams, our phantasms Flowing out from our windows Where we once slept and slumbered And on the rooftops of our homes We threw out our nets Just to catch every fallen star In between those moments After the last comet vanished Fading back into space We try to reach out and touch The fragile eggshell of a sky I remember these echoes of autumn The symphony of innocence The reflection of youth And within these quiet streets The pathways and roads we roamed These memories are written On the pages of our consciences Each letter magical Each memory valuable Like words written in fairy tales And the songs we sang in the past Are stitched into our hearts All the echoes ring within Every hum, whistle, verse and chord Can still be heard When we close our eyes In these times When the night returns And the silence begins to speak It comes to show us To give us meaning To give us imagination That grant us remembrance And within its whisper it asks us Do you remember dreaming Of the nothing and nowhere? Do you remember creating Your emporium of imagination? And do you remember living Out here in the echoes of autumn?

To the stars and the moon We danced away like fireflys Caught up in the winds And like such with our light We gave away to the dark But was once my truth Became reveled a lie and for all that I did I can say at least I tried But in the end of the fire We turned to our ashes Like rebirth from the old It was all apart of our faith We claim to be ravens And our lives where merely immortal Our paths held strong in stones We knew what our desires where Our oath written in our bones Every lyrics we sang Scream like a hawk Swoon like a blue jay Birds of prey And birds of joy And within our shadow We held a deepest light Belief of new elder Gods And our auras where bright Every midnight battle We scream we will fight And within this alone We would write our songs A belief that the Raven Was purely immortal So now the days have gone along ago And here I am at the edge of the world And you shine like a light house Your edge of the world Has the brightest stars My feet hang off the edge Abyss below me awaits my fall And I wonder as I look to the elder faith Will you hear my call And come face your darkest beauty

Something different strikes the mood Like feeling the cold shoulder Of the blue moon I hope the time comes soon Tonight’s different As it could be Maybe I’ll carry a bouquet Of eloquence and things of beauty And as different as I may seem I’ll at least try To be dear to you Cause I too, Dream Of shades of violet and blue Please understand what I say That by the rise of the midnight moon We’ll dance till dawn breaks to the day Dance underneath the petals Falling off the crescent flower Shine on with your strength In your eyes I see the stars And the beauty of your power I don’t care for the sands of time Nor the long walks to the moon As long as under this stary sky I’ll meet you soon Now all will be said and told Even though I should hush Yet I’ll remain bold This boy shouldn’t speak Gossip and secrets that I should keep But oh well, live with no regrets The gates that protect my heart Unlock with your words as a key I’m vulnerable, I’m the window And you’re the rock Go right through me Feed my head with your words To clear out the haze I’ll live for the coming days This world no longer colored in gray You first colored in the violet Like a new moon rising How my heart falls Shouldn’t be so surprising Dance underneath the petals Falling off the crescent flower Shine on with your strength In your eyes I see the stars And the beauty of your power I don’t care for the sands of time Nor the long walks to the moon As long as under this stary sky I’ll meet you soon We Are Hinting that this is our last imagination Yet we’re more than just creation Not so far From the truth we seek Our future doesn’t seem so bleak So Bizzare How long will this go on for? We’re stepping through that door Blue star First sight on the horizon There’s no comparison Dance with me Dance underneath the petals Falling off the crescent flower Shine on with your strength In your eyes I see the stars And the beauty of your power I don’t care for the sands of time Nor the long walks to the moon As long as under this stary sky I’ll meet you soon

I created something beautiful It was deformed in its distortion Yet remained perfection Scratches of a shattered mirror Scarecrows placed in honors of horror The river of tears on your face Tells me a story of your falling in disgrace Yet your drowning sorrow Your beauty shows That with you I can only follow Hello, God? Are you there? For within this past year I’ve been lost in fear Hello, Messiah? Are you there? These people need a savor Yet the pastor is playing favors Hello? Are you there? Or am I just standing here Alone in the darkness Elope with my fear I tried moving the hands of the clock Hoping to slow down time Im stuck in shock I just want to feel that kiss once more Yet under these skies I gave you nothing And yet in the middle of the night You saw me You gave me everything You gave me you Was your heart breaking all along So silently? Until it fell out onto the floor Bleeding violently Yet you stayed Always looking beautifully Hello, God? Are you there? For within this past year I’ve been lost in fear Hello, Messiah? Are you there? These people need a savor Yet the pastor is playing favors Hello? Are you there? Or am I just standing here Alone in the darkness Elope with my fear

God, Hear me now, I've lost my crown God, See me now Trying to fulfill the vision God, Can you king me now? It took twenty years to put the pen to paper Of all the weight I carried not wasted I'll put this pain to labor A new vision awaits I'll answer the creator So God, Can you hear me? The echoes of my apology forever lasting I give thanks to you for this dream anew God, King me now I got a story to tell And I won't fail God, I know you see me now You've deepened the depths of meaning The drafts are changing But the spirit is cleaning Echoes of the demons of prior Cast out into the fire So god, hear me now I give thanks for this tale Visions of the heart Showing below, above, and beyond nothing It will no longert tear me apart For now I am truly creating I carried a love for you for so long Years gone by waiting There was a hate earned, that was instead forgiven And now here I stand still creating So God, I thank you now, God, You gave it all purpose somehow I doubted You used my pain to tell a tale And now a purpose I serve God, I thank you now